Monday, February 9, 2009

Excel e Powerpoint

Não que tenha feito muito sucesso não, mas saiu lá no CDD e era a única idéia que me veio à cabeça. É pobre mas é limpinha tá?.

Excel e Powepoint

Sempre achei gozada essa mania clichê de dividir a humanidade em dois: Os que estacionam na primeira vaga que aparece e os que vão mais pertinho, pra tentar achar outra melhor. Os que saem do cinema rápido e os que ficam assistindo ao letreiro. Os que trocam uma senha assim que a recebem, os que permanecem com a senha estranha por pura preguiça de fazer a mudança. São muitas, muitas as formas de nos agruparmos, mas, o que acho graça mesmo, é que elas são sempre as mesmas.

Todas essas tentativas de divisão encontram as mesmas possibilidades: ou somos humanos excel, ou somos powerpoint. Explico: os que param na primeira vaga são os que saem rápido do cinema, que normalmente gostam de powerpoint. Os que trocam uma senha assim que a recebem são os mesmos que vão procurar uma vaga mais perto, e são craques em excel.
Você pode até pensar que, como não é ligado a computador, não cabe em nenhum dos dois grupos, mas isso nada mais é do que um indício de que você é uma pessoa powerpoint. Os que pensam que não gostam de tecnologia são extensão ppt.

Os bons em excel são os que falam pouco, e os powerpoints são os prolixos. É tão claro. Não? Os que nunca instalam a impressora e vivem mandando e-mails com a frase “imprimir pls” são os que também não trocam as senhas. Que, normalmente, eu arriscaria dizer, são os prolixos. Já o outro grupo, daqueles que instalam a impressora de uma vez — e a qualquer custo — são os mais calados, que preferem excel e, por isso, são os que fazem conta no computador, lado oposto daquele grupo que, ao perguntado sobre qualquer porcentagem, faz de cabeça, rabisca com caneta num papel rascunho qualquer ou, na pior das hipóteses, demora tanto a responder que o outro desiste e vai embora. Dependendo de quem perguntou. Normalmente quem faz perguntas de cálculos para os outros são os que acordam tarde, ppts puro. Os matutinos costumam fazer as contas ao invés de perguntá-las. Extensão xls (de excel) pra eles, que são os mesmos, claro, dos que fazem exercícios regularmente, ao contrário dos dorminhocos que vivem sustentando academias que sequer conhecem. Esse segundo é o grupo que deixa bilhetes a mão, ao contrário dos excels, que desaprenderam a usar lápis e papel. Em compensação, são os melhores em eletrônicos. Enquanto os powerpoints apanham de qualquer DVD, os excels são capazes de instalar um sistema de som que ecoe por toda a paulista.

Você é desses? Você pode se identificar pela comida também. Há os que vivem pra comer e os que comem pra viver. Os primeiros são os glutões, os mesmos que vivem atrasados. Powerpoints né? Os segundos, pontuais, só poderiam ser excels.

Claro, claro que há exceções. Um guloso pode até ser bom em excel, mas nunca um atrasado vai ser um que não liga muito pra doce. Pode ver.

Se você duvidar que a vida é simples assim, posso apostar que é do grupo dos excels. Deve ser de direita. Não que um excel não possa ser petista, até pode, inclusive sei de muitos PSDBistas powerpoints, o que é raro, mas há controvérsias quanto à política, porque nem mesmo os políticos sabem bem em qual grupo se encaixam. Principalmente se forem ppts.

20 comments:

Mariana said...

Adorei...infelizmente a vidaexige.com.br, que a pessoa se "salve como" as mais diversas extensões, de acordo com cada quadrado.cadaum.noseu.br mas aqui vai um beijo grande de uma amiga assumidamente ppt.

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